Charlie day 1

 I woke up today, a day that felt like any other. But, it wasn't, was it? The days while new on the calendar, will never be quite the same again, will they?

I woke up, expecting you to be there to greet us and begin a new day. That wasn't to be. 

Last night we said good bye to you for the last time. No more "We'll be home soon, Charlie. Be a good boy til we get back" No more of you barking as if to say "help help" One of your favorite things to do, along with tug of war with your stuffies, or playing "Lights" on the ceiling with our cell phones. You were so good at that game and kept us safe. We always told you what a good job you did and let you know how proud we were. It may seem silly to a human, but we know you loved barking at the lights. Happy Puppy

I only knew you a very short time. I'm sure it seemed longer in dog years. I can't imagine what your doggy mom is feeling today. It all seems so surreal.

Why am I talking to you this way. I feel like you are still here in some ways. You are always in my heart Charlie no matter where you may be now.

We said goodbye to the best dog, both of us hoping it was a mistake or a cruel joke. Watching you, looking so peaceful, praying for a miracle and that you would sit up and we could take you home.

Sadly that wasn't to be. We know, deep down you were hurting, although heaven knows, you never whined or complained about the pain you were in, the upset tummy and other issues. You never nipped or growled all the times we took you to the vet. We know you didn't like it. But, you went, like the good boy you were. We know that you are no longer in pain and hopefully, up there in some awesome doggo heaven running around with the other puppies. Yes, I know, your puppy days were well in the past. 

Several times, I have caught myself looking in the spot you spent so many hours and not finding you there. I keep looking up to ask if you need to go out or want a treat. I woke up and thought, I have to put food in your bowl. We haven't put that away yet and will not for awhile. It's hard to look at, yes. But, once it's put up, it makes it somehow more final that you are not here any longer.

I will miss watching you hop down the stairs on your little legs and saying "Up up little pup" going back in the house. There are so so many things  we will miss about you, my goodest boy. 

In time, our hearts will mend and heal, yet there will always be a tiny piece where you live. Is there a Heaven for dogs? Do animals have souls of a fashion? I certainly hope so and I believe that they do.

I hope the food is yummy, the beds are comfy and you are a happy boy once again. Thank you, Charlie for the love and time you gave here. You made the world in general, and my life in particular much much better for having been in it.

I will probably write more and I will keep thinking you are here and need me.

All my love charlie (carlito)